Uggghhh! This expression describes my frustration and thoughts lately on MOST facets: career, love, education, and faith and lately...my hair. What am I going to do with my life?
CAREER Where do I begin? Okay, on the job- I'm an administrative assistant for a government contracting agency in the DC area. Let's just say I do not want to be an AA the rest of my life and I am sure that I won't, but...a recent career opportunity for Research Associate presented itself and I decided to go after it. I pursued the opportunity because there was an interest there and I wanted to get out of this current role. So, I go through all of the proper channels; let the powers that be know I was interested in the position, and filled out the application only to not receive an interview because the person that chosen was already "experienced" (she really was looking back on the situation) and the company basically made the decision to save this person's job since her contract was coming to a close. Of course, I was upset because they could have given me an interview. Then, on the other hand I'm thinking why interview if I knew I wouldn't have been given the job or that they were looking at me as a serious candidate. Needless to say, word traveled around the office and everyone (mostly) was on my side saying I should have been granted the interview and that I should have gotten job. I myself, was so mad, heated and everything in between, but in retrospect I was not qualified. This experience has let me know to keep learning, and keep trying, being persistent in what I want. This has been a grand learning experience!
LOVE I met this guy about 4 months ago while hanging out for my girlfriend's birthday at Cafe Asia in DC. We've had nothing but fun together ever since and I always look forward to spending time with him and talking on the phone. He told me he was not looking for a relationship and I'm not really looking for another relationship either- just got out of a yearlong relationship and I'm looking for a strong friendship base ( I don't think !). I have been rationalizing my thoughts, like I'm slippin', I'm really falling for this guy and now there's this feeling inside like I have to toughin' up and not let this guy know I'm going crazy over him. Or maybe I'm just overreacting since I've called him one night and he didn't answer, neither did he explain why he didn't return my phone call. There I go getting serious again- I need a hobby :).
EDUCATION To go back to school or not? For about 8 months I've been researching various graduate and certificate programs that suit my interest. I know I probably should go back, but I have several stipulations on not going back; not wanting to default on loans, fear of not landing a job AND accumulating more debt. So, to combat my crazy, but reasonable thinking I've been talking to my friend who told me to get my but back in school, that it would all pay off. I think I'm getting closer and closer to going back to school! I'll let you know when I fill out my FAFSA!
FAITH I had an epiphany on Sunday, not long after I got back from church. I have been saved going on three years now. To be saved means giving your life to Christ, letting go of your former life, behaviors, habits and vices to become a true follower and worshipper of Christ (this is my own interpretation). I had not been trusting in God to answer my prayers I had been relying on friends and family who couldn't solve any of my problems. I then switched my thinking and began to thank God for all that he has done for me, and each time I do this I begin to feel so much better!
HAIR Last summer I cut my hair into this super short, cute pixie cut. I received so many complements and I was pleased, now it has grown out tremendously and I am wearing a bob that stops right at the chin. The bob is cute too, but not like the first time I wore it. I think it's getting too long and maybe it should be shorter or I think it may need some holding spray. I've noticed when I have holding spray the hairstyle stays fresher longer. I dunno!
Well, now that you have the lowdown please keep me in your wishes, thoughts and prayers...until next time!
