Wow, so this is how it feels? I just asked a guy that I was involved with for forgiveness. He actually asked me for forgiveness first. You see, until him I NEVER dated a guy without a job. I would say things were okay in the beginning. This is slightly true - he actually had a little bit of money in his pocket. When I first moved into my place he bought a pizza and one time after that he bought groceries for me. I guess everything dried up because it stopped. Then came him asking me get his hair done, at the time he was growing baby dreds which he has since cut off! Also, if he came to visit me I had to pay his bus/Metro fare back home. Last but not least, he thought he could sit around in my apartment, watch my television, and eat my food. He actually saw nothing wrong with it. Not only did this become old, but it became stressful.
I've read Steve Harvey's book and all, and I tried to be there for him but I believe you have to be humble at this time of unemployment. He seemed to struggle with that. Anyhow, my stress level soared due to the fact that he wasn't working and actually wasn't trying to look for honest work. So, I started to put the press on him about finding a job and helping out around the place. Putting the press on him led to me just having an attitude and snapping for no reason which wasn't good. After doing some soul searching, I kindly sent him a Facebook message :) stating how I felt we were incompatible and that we just weren't going to work. He gave me a call and we discussed it briefly and reached an agreement in my finding. In retrospect, thinking back to how I treated him made me feel real bad. Thinking of the new wave of books and topics dedicated to relationships between black males and females (Act Like a Lady, The Conversation, etc.) I felt convicted to ask him for my forgiveness. But wait, since when did asking your man to get a job mean that you were being disrespectful or treating them poorly? Has this situation taught me just stay away from guys who aren't working? Yes, I've been known to overanalyze and even for being the 'N' word - Nice.
At any rate, I asked him to forgive me. He did saying it wasn't a big deal, well it was to me. I want to begin to be a better friend and girlfriend in the next relationship I find myself in. I think we all should strive to work on that thing which gets the best of us: lying, stealing, miscommunication, trust, etc. At the end of the day I feel so much lighter and that I can move on to looking at the [wo]man in the mirror.
